Of Love and Borscht

Community Voices X Pen Parentis - a story + recipe giving thanks for chosen family, belonging, traditions, and the power of love, by Lane Igoudin.

Lane is professor of English and linguistics at Los Angeles City College. His family is safe, but we want to support him and everyone in the Los Angeles community by sharing this link: “Resources to Support Those Affected by the LA Area Fires" compiled by Los Angeles Homeless Services Authority (LAHSA). We hope this is a helpful resource for you or anyone you know, and it also includes a list of nonprofits accepting donations for those affected by the fires. From our One Potato family to yours, our hearts go out to everyone affected by the Greater Los Angeles area wildfires.

Today’s Special Community Voices essay is based on excerpts from Lane Igoudin’s memoir, A Family, Maybe. Cooking a family recipe passed down through generations, Lane prepares borscht with his grandmother while discussing the challenges (and hope) surrounding the adoption of his young daughters.

Paid Subscribers can always read the complete essays for $5/month or $45/year and have access to our whole archives + recipes. New Specials include our Community Voices essays and Order Up! Chef and Influencer interviews.

Pen Parentis, a national nonprofit that helps writers stay on creative track after having kids, is proud to sponsor Community Voices X Pen Parentis. We believe that creative careers are as valuable as corporate careers, and that they should be given the same respect. Do you have kids and a writing career? Check out our annual Writing Fellowship for New Parents, our free monthly Literary Salons, and a Cycle of Support that includes membership, mentorship and accountability meetups. More info about the help we offer writers who are also parents at writerparentannex.com 

You don’t have to be a member of Pen Parentis to share your story. We would love to have you contribute your family stories as well and foster building this community - please send us a DM or email hello @ onepotato.com if you’re interested in sharing 🥔

---

Of Love and Borscht

By Lane Igoudin (Excerpted from A Family, Maybe, 2024)

“Please don’t speak Russian in front of them. Ya proshu tebya (I’m begging you).” 

“Okay.”

“No, Babushka, you have to promise me. I don’t want them to know anything about us.”

“Okay, Sasha, okay! I promise. Why are you so tense?”

We were crossing the parking lot to the foster agency in the hot, chalk-white August sun. I was carrying the 3-month-old Gaby in her car seat; behind me, leaning on her cane, my grandmother was leading Marianna, Gaby’s 2-year-old sister, with her free hand.

Jenna and Tony, the kids’ birth parents, and the social worker Maya were already there. I set down the car seat. Grandma nodded to them politely and let go of Marianna’s hand.

Later on, back at the house, I was frying the onions and carrots on the stove for the dinner borscht. Babushka was peeling the beets, swearing under her breath every time the peeler ran sideways. 

Grandpa Isaac used to say, “Tomochka (Tammy), why do you have to swear like an Odessa sailor? It’s unbecoming of you. You’re a doctor; you are an intellectual!” And she’d always promise, “I won’t do it again, Izya,” and inevitably let out another juicy profanity when the situation called for it.

“So what do you think?” I couldn’t help asking the question. 

Grandma moved on to the pile of potatoes.

“He is perfect for her, this Tony.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Jenna, the kids’ Mom, might have many problems, but she’s not stupid when it comes to her future. Once they emancipate her at 18, where’s she going to go? And here’s a guy with a job and a home. Plus, she’s got nothing, so the state will support her and her babies. And between his job and her benefits, she might get to stay home with the babies, be a housewife. Not a bad plan.”

So simple, so obvious, and so demoralizing. If my grandmother’s prediction came true, we were going to lose these two precious children Jonathan and I had been fostering to adopt.

—> Behind the Paywall: Read the rest of Lane’s story and Babushka’s Odessa Borscht recipe…